Thursday, March 12, 2009

True running confessions

Today’s Boston group (Runners World forum) prompted some ‘true confessions’ which made me think about some of the foibles of running, at least in the case of yours truly.


* I am a secret racer. Nowadays, I’m not fast (or young) enough to beat anybody when they ‘know’ I’m racing them, but I have scored many a victory on training runs when I routinely vanquish many an unsuspecting jogger, happily listening to his/her iPod while getting beaten to a pulp. Figuratively speaking of course… Every now and then one of my ‘adversaries’ would wake up and start to race me back. Oops. Usually it would be another middle-aged guy who doesn’t enjoy being passed by anybody even remotely in his age category. The result? A planned ‘easy’ 10 mile run would end up being a messy, sweaty affair with two balding, paunchy guys increasing the pace so as not to fall behind – or to get ahead – all while pretending that it is just a routine training run.


* I have a weakness for blondes, so I often – totally coincidentally of course - happen to find one for ‘companionship’ in a long race. They don’t seem to mind. Or maybe they are just super polite. Whatever. As the French song goes, Auprès de ma blonde - Qu'il fait bon, fait bon, fait bon - Auprès de ma blonde- Qu'il fait bon dormi. It is all very harmless, of course. See for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNUT8Bgt--E#


* When I’d get dehydrated at the end of a long run, which used to happen more often when I was younger and less slow, I would get aggressive with cars. Resulting in rude gestures to drivers cutting me off, slapping the trunks of cars trying to run over me in driveways, and so on. I would not recommend this behavior and have stopped doing it. I never got shot at, but had to take some evasive actions once or twice.


* I do not like it at all when pedestrians (walkers) totally block the way by walking 3 of even 4 abreast. Don’t they know this is a running path… So I would often scrape right by them when passing from behind, no doubt helping to make runners less than popular amongst the walking fraternity. Sorry about that. One time in Washington D.C. I was running towards the FDR Memorial when this scenario occurred. Having just barreled my way past a few gawking tourists, my foot caught a protruding root and I took an almighty spill right in front of them, almost bouncing into the Tidal Basin. Served me right? I guess so.

6 comments:

Viper said...

Thanks for stopping by Team HQ. I secretly race people too, but that's because I'm too slow to actually race them. I have surprise them. Run well and drink well. Cheers.

P.O.M. said...

Ha. I'm a secret racer too. AND I try to find a hot guy to run with during long races too - it helps distract me :)

PS: I think we might be in the same industry....

Lily on the Road said...

hahaha, Bert you made me laugh, thanks so much for sharing.

I'm having my Saturday morning coffee while trying to catch up with your wonderful travels...thanks for the great photo's, but Bert, why aren't you putting together a fabulous coffee table book featuring your wonderful experiences????

I would purchase one for sure! I feel that your wonderful experiences would be lost otherwise. Look into it please!!!

Oh, and since I'm a 5' 10" blonde, I look for "companionship" too on my long runs...in fact I dropped my time almost 15 - 20 minutes running with a good looking gentleman in last years marathon!!!

; )

ps, yellow canoe cafe has vegan fare...I'm a veggie so it worked out perfectly!

Alexandra said...

Great post! I think I will make note and do a similar post! The three or four abreast walkers get me too and sometimes I will purposly bang shoulders with one...but I will pick the smaller person to pick on!

Vava said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment! To answer your question, Toronto is not very hilly and the single gear is plenty, especially with the relatively easy 46-16 ratio that I am using.

And I totally agree with you on the last point! And not just when I am out running either!

Good luck on your prep for Boston! What a great race experience that will be. Perhaps I will get experience this in the future...

johnking said...

I can agree with the 1st, 3rd, and 4th. I'm a brunette guy. I always slap the trunks of cars if they do something stupid. They usually are too lazy to get out of their cars and I'm too fast for them. 29 days man...